Gossip is an integral part of our lives. We have all wasted someone at some point, and no doubt someone has wasted us. If you think that's not the case, you simply haven't found out. There is nothing inherently wrong with gossip, nor is gossip necessarily malicious.
Moreover, research published in the journal Social Psychological and Personality Science showed that gossip is mostly of a neutral nature - as many as three quarters of it. Gossip was most often simply an exchange of information. But when gossip is of a malicious character, spreading lies, twisting the truth - that's a different, more problematic situation. A symptom of a toxic work atmosphere that needs to be removed.
But what exactly qualifies as office gossip? A useful distinction to consider is whether you are speaking about someone with the intention of helping or harming you. It's one thing to mention the fact that a colleague missed an important job due to a divorce and that you can't believe that her husband left her because of cheating. It is quite another to say: "He must be going through a difficult period. Why don't we see if we can help her this week?”
Another way to find out if something qualifies as office gossip is to think about whether it's something you would say to the person's face. If not, it's probably gossip.
Keeping these differences in mind, Elegant hr. brings five tips on how to gracefully get away from ugly gossip.
- Apologize and walk away
When office gossip is headed your way, the simplest solution is to leave the conversation. Excuse yourself due to urgent work obligations. The same applies to the case when the office gossip corners you. You're at work after all, so just say, "I really have to get back to my desk." No one can object to that explanation.
- Work and office gossip do not go together
Ignore when you can't leave. Maybe you're in a meeting or lunch with colleagues when a juicy dramatic story comes up. But just because you're present, doesn't mean you have to participate. The simple act of not responding lets your coworkers know you're not interested in contributing hearsay. If pressed, you can always say it's none of your business. Online business is one of the ways to avoid gossip at work. Online jobs are part of our everyday life today.
- Change the subject
Office gossip can be attractive and seem like an innocent chat about a colleague who isn't there, but spreading it can be incredibly harmful. Let it be known that you understand where the gossip is going, change your tone to an upbeat one, and change the subject when you hear negative remarks.
There is such a thing as positive gossip, so steer the conversation to a more cheerful topic, such as the birth of a co-worker's baby or how well a team member did on a recent project.
- Try to solve the problem
It would be nice if it never happened, but sometimes the whispers can be about you. If you hear that someone in your office is making unsolicited jokes at your expense and makes it known to everyone but you, don't let the situation get complicated. Approach a colleague and try to solve the problem. Make it known that you are aware of what was said and that you want to find a solution. With any luck, you'll improve your communication skills, get an apology, and put the rumors to rest.
- When it doesn't work at all, go all the way
When office gossip turns particularly vicious or centers around damaging rumors about you, it wouldn't hurt to subtly bring it up with your supervisor. You can do this without looking like an office snitch. You can let your boss know the information without pointing a finger. Try this: "I thought you might like to know that people are talking about X things." Management will then have the opportunity to solve the problem, disperse idle conversations and pay attention to interpersonal relations.
Gossip at work can cause problems, reduce morale and lead to serious conflicts. The next time you see gossip girls galloping in your direction, follow the strategies above to get around the trouble.
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